We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
