if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
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