they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
