do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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