it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
