they need to just BURY HIM!
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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