You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Every concussion has its silver lining
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
