She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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