Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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