SEEEEXXX PLEASE
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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