I feel great
I just peed on a car
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I lost the right to judge tonight
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize