my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Every concussion has its silver lining
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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