next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
my being single is dangerous.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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