Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
