I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Randomize
