you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
