forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
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