I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize