I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
