if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
