I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
Randomize
