Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
He's a Shit stain on my heart
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
