1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
