brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
