If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
