all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
3 2 1 whiskey
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
