coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
