When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
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