If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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