Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Randomize