Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
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