I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
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