Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
