Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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