she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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