real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
