I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize
