Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I licked your asshole in confidence.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
