Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Even my vagina gasped.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
