Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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