Got a toothbrush?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize
