I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Randomize
