your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
