Say something about gay babies.
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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