so that wasnt chicken after all
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize
