I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Randomize
