Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
Randomize
