I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
