Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
