Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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