There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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