so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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