So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Randomize
