Whatcha textin bout Willis?
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
