Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
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