Me too!
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
only you would photoshop your dick
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
