Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Randomize
