So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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