Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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