She went from zero to smokin in five shots
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
What drink are we having for lunch?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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