So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
Randomize
