I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
