We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
