I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
